Funmi Akingbade
One
thing that is very obvious about life is that it is not static;
everything in life appreciates and information increases. Today, we
shall be looking at some information from sex researchers and I have
gathered some of these facts, especially in the patterns of men and
women’s sex drive. Couples should bear it in mind that individuals may
vary from these norms. According to the National Opinion Research
Centre, the average couple reports having sex 66 times a year. Couples
under the age 30 say they have sex an average of 109 times a year. The
average number drops to 70 times a year for couples in their 40s and 52
times a year for couples in their 50s.
Experts say that sex drive differs
between men and women. They say women’s sexual inclinations are more
complicated than men’s. While men may be rigid and specific about what
they are aroused by, women have less-directed sex drives. Researchers
say women are more likely to be influenced by irrelevant things and
factors. Sexual desire in women is extremely sensitive to the
environment and context.
Experts say men’s libido is higher,
while women’s sex drive is more about intimacy. However, it does not
mean that men do not seek intimacy, love and connection in a
relationship just as women do. Most men crave more foreplay, but view
the role of sex differently.
Women want to talk first, connect first,
and then have sex. For men, sex is the connection. Sex is the language
men use to express their tender loving vulnerable side.
It is their language of intimacy. Study
after study illustrate that a man’s sex drive is not only stronger than a
woman’s, it is also much more straightforward. The sources of women’s
libido, by contrast, are much more difficult to pin down. It is common
wisdom that women place more value on emotional connection as a spark of
sexual desire.
Men want sex more often than women at the start of a relationship, in the middle of it, and after many years of it.
About two-thirds of men say they
masturbate, even though they feel guilty about it. But they are forced
to masturbate because they are constantly being denied sex by their
wives. Over 80 per cent of married men confessed having cheated on their
wives, though, they say they feel guilty about it. But they also gave
reason for this – their wives’ deliberate insensitivities to their
sexual fantasies and need. They also blame it on their wives’
tastelessness and lack of innovation.
Men and women travel slightly different paths to arrive at sexual desire.
I hear women say in my office that
sexual desire originates much more between their ears than between their
legs. For most married women, there is a need for a plan; hence, the
romance, affection and foreplay. It is more about the anticipation, how
you get there; it is the longing that is the fuel for desire. Women’s
desire is more contextual, more subjective, more layered on a lattice of
emotion. Men, by contrast, don’t need to have nearly as much
imagination, since sex is simpler and more straightforward for them.
Most married women are more influenced
by their peer group in their decisions about sex. Wives who are not
‘religious’ are likely to have liberal attitudes towards sex, they let
go and release themselves to the pleasure sex has to offer than the more
‘religious’ ones. Married women with higher education levels are more
likely to have performed a wider variety of sexual practices, but
education makes less of a difference with men. Women are more likely to
show inconsistency between their expressed values about sexual
activities.
Most married women under the age of 60 think about sex less than once a day.
While the majority of married men under
60 years think about sex at least once a day, only about one-quarter of
married women report this level of frequency. As men and women age, each
fantasises less, but married men still fantasise about twice as often
as women. Men reported more spontaneous sexual arousal and had more
frequent and varied fantasies. There are natural libido enhancers that
can help women; please contact me.
Older married women are more likely to experience orgasm when sex is within the context of a faithful and loving relationship.
Married women over 50 are more likely to
report orgasm when a sexual event takes place in a totally strange
environment. Researchers speculate that coming together of long
separated partners may find the novelty of a new experience arousing.
Most second round sex is safe and
healthy, sex therapists say. In addition, it can improve sexual function
and relationships by teaching both spouses about their own sexual
responses, so they are better able to explain to their partner what
feels good to them. However, a spouse who becomes too obsessed with
third round sex may develop sexual problems or lose interest in sex with
their partners.
Women experience orgasms differently
than men, while researchers find it tricky to try to quantify issues
like the differing quality of male vs. female orgasms. There is a data
on how long it takes men and women to get there. Men, on average, take 4
minutes from the point of entry until ejaculation; [ideal time should
be at least 10 minutes], anything lower than this is considered to be
premature ejaculation. If you suffer premature ejaculation, please
contact me.
Women usually take around 15 to 18
minutes to reach orgasm. That is another difference between the sexes on
how often they have an orgasm during sex. Among married men 75 per cent
of them report that they always have an orgasm with their wives while
29 per cent of married women report that they always have an orgasm with
their husbands.
Most married women cannot have an orgasm
without direct stimulation of the clitoris, so they need clitoral
stimulation to reach orgasm. For women who have trouble achieving
orgasm, incorporating clitoral stimulation into sexual activity may be
all that is necessary. The G-spot is a sexually sensitive part of a
woman’s anatomy found in the anterior vaginal wall.
The G-spot is a region found behind the
pubic bone that has been credited as the trigger for a vaginal (vs.
clitoral) orgasm, and even a catalyst for female ejaculation. However,
some experts note that there is no unique anatomical structure where the
G-spot is supposed to be located. If the G-spot exists, it is best
described as an erogenous zone rather than a part of a woman’s anatomy.
A study in the Journal of Sexual
Medicine found that the duration before an average married man
ejaculates during sexual intercourse from the beginning of vaginal
penetration until ejaculation was 7.4 minutes, while the appropriate
time should be 12 to 15 minutes. The average penis length is between 8
and 10 inches when erected and averages around 4.6 inches when flaccid. A
man’s flaccid penis varies in size considerably because of various
environmental factors and their effects on the sympathetic nervous
system. Cold water and cold air are perhaps the best known causes of
this “shrinkage” phenomenon, but psychological stress can do the same
thing. It is advisable to stay off stress.
Only 10 per cent of married men reported
a preference for oral sex to achieve orgasm, while 6 per cent of
married women reported that preference. Men are more likely to reach
orgasm when sex includes vaginal intercourse, but women are more likely
to reach orgasm when they engage in a variety of sex acts that include
vaginal intercourse or real foreplay sex.
Masturbation can cause injury; frequent
or overly vigorous masturbation can irritate the skin of the penis, and
men who masturbate facedown can injure their urethras. This has been a
major cause of erectile dysfunction for many who masturbate.
Sexual activity can reduce the risk of stroke and heart attack in older couples.
While couples with a history of stroke
or heart disease should consult their sex therapist about sexual
activity, for the most part, sex is a healthy form of exercise for older
people. Researchers who tracked 914 married men for 20 years found that
having sex twice or more a week reduced the risk of fatal heart attack
by half, compared with those who had sex less than once a month. They
also found out that the frequency of sex intercourse was not associated
with stroke.
CREDITS;;;
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